Not My Circus. Not My Monkeys.

Now that you've had the master post on everything that's been going on over the past week, I'm going to touch on more recent stuff.  Midterm was today and I'm completely exhausted.  I mean I know why.  I didn't really get a lot of sleep last night.  I fell asleep with my contacts in and when I woke up to take them off I couldn't fall back asleep.  So there I was at 3:40 AM with the lights of the city basically shut off (I mean all the annoying blinking signs outside my window are apparently not on at 3 in the morning.) and I could not fall back asleep. 

 

All I could think about was that test.  My class as a whole hasn't been doing very well.  We're the least experienced class.  I mean we still have a girl who lived in China for eight years in our class, but we're the least experienced.  Our teachers however haven't really grasped the fact that there's still a good portion of the time when I don't have a clue what's going on and the tests are nearly impossible.  Last week I almost would have rather taken the AP Calculus test again which is really saying something as Calculus makes me want to cry.  The highest grade on last week's test was an 82%.  I repeat the highest grade.   The NSLI-Y program is full of hardworking students who always put in so much more time and attention into their schoolwork then strictly necessary. It's a program full of kids who want to learn desperately.  These are by no means usual grades for anyone.  And it's frustrating to know that as hard as you're trying it isn't working.

 

So what did I do at 3:40 AM?  I studied. 

 

The test was actually so much easier than I could have ever hoped for.  There was no essay.  No overly complex vocabulary.  A couple questionable punctuation marks in the blank spaces that the teacher than fixed (and I then automatically knew the answer).  We even had a word bank at one point.  I walked out of the test smiling and relieved. 

 

It was amusing to sit on the steps outside the classroom, waiting to go in for the speaking test and watch the other classes freak out about their grades for once.  I'm not trying to be cruel.  It's just we were all convinced that if we didn't improve drastically, our entire class was going to be sent back to U.S.  We had an emergency study session and He Lao Shi made a special study guide off my notes, which are incredibly detailed.   I write down absolutely everything, so we figured if it was taught it was in my notes.  And while we were freaking out and studying like our lives depended on it, some of the students in the other classes were walking to Coco or Starbucks everyday. 

 

But our class made a pact that we wouldn't say a word about how easy the test was.  It wasn't even all that easy.  We just expected one killer test.  We said things like "Well, it definitely wasn't like any of our other tests" or "The stuff I studied wasn't even on there."   We commiserated with the other classes, but celebrated the fact that we finally had a test one of us might have actually done well on.

 

We're hiking Hua Shan tomorrow.  The mountain has one of the most dangerous hikes in the world, but no worries we're not going anywhere close to that trail.  We have to be at the school tomorrow at 6:40 and go on a three-hour bus ride before finally reaching the mountain.  We're taking a cable car up and then walking around one of the easiest trails.  But of course it's China, so the path is going to be difficult to navigate just because of the sheer numbers of people.  I think it's going to be so cool.  (Side note on the word cool: I never realized how often I said it until I was in China.  My host mom looked at me like I was crazy the first time I said it but now Candy says it all the time) Hua Shang is one of the sacred Tibetan Mountains and so there are so many special Buddhist sites and temples.  There are also a lot of merchants selling unique Chinese wares. 

 

So tomorrow will be interesting.  This post however is about a bit more than just my Midterm.  I'm a particular fan of a Polish proverb.  It translates to "Not my circus. Not my monkeys."  Basically it means it's not my problem.  It's not my fault.  I like the phrase better though, because it also creates an interesting idea at least in my mind.  A circus is something you can't ignore no matter how you try.  There's been a situation in China that definitely can't be ignored.  Some of the other students are having problems with their host families. 

 

I have never been more thankful for the host family I have.  I have my own room, Wi-Fi, air-conditioning, a Western toilet that doesn't really have any restrictions, loving parents and a sister who's always willing to help me or talk to me in both English and Chinese.  I have an incredible apartment that is about a half hour walk from the school, but I'm still driven most of the times.  My apartment is incredible.  It's huge and the complex has a little gated park with a couple waterfalls.  There's also a much bigger park just outside with a huge hot air balloon (which is useful in not getting lost.)  My sister and I walk there almost every night after dinner and play on the playground together.  I have a dog, who despite not completely trusting me yet and having the weirdest sleeping schedule ever, (She's always wide-awake.  This morning she was sitting outside Candy's room ready to play.  I scratched her tummy for a little bit to calm down before going back to work) is actually a really comfortable presence in the house.  I'm happy to be here. 

 

Some of the others haven't been so lucky.  There are three students who have/will switch families.  The first was simple enough.  She was living in a one-bedroom apartment with no air conditioning and she was sharing a bed with her host sister who would punch her in her sleep.  The family also had a much larger apartment that had been checked by NSLI, but the family lived in the one bedroom closer to the school.   Because one girl left for personal reasons, there was a family ready to accept a student with the mountains of paperwork already filled out.  The girl is so much happier now and is living with a host sister who is teaching her kung fu and a father who's going to teach her how to make Chinese noodles. 

 

The second kid was Egg.  Egg has been absent from school almost all week.  He had some really bad bug bites on his elbows.  Or at least that's what we thought.  Wei Lao Shi wrapped his arms up in gauze and he couldn't really move.  The next day, Egg was taken to the hospital.  The "bites" were spreading.  They turned out to be an allergic reaction brought on by his host family arrangements.  He also had an upper respiratory infection.  Instead of letting him rest, his host father gave him books to translate to give him some more practice.  Needless to say for the past two days, Egg has been asleep in the NSLI Office.  A couple of us are going over there tonight to keep him company and watch a movie.  I don't think I'll be able to go, just as I live far enough away from the school that it would be really inconvenient for my host family.  We would finish when it was dark and I'm not walking home at night.  I mean Xi'an is a big city.  Egg still doesn't have a new host family but they're looking through the different back-up families.  The government just has a mountain of paper work for hosting a foreigner so it probably won't be until next week that Egg gets to move in somewhere. 

 

The third case is the creepiest and the most relevant to me.  One girl in our class, Katie, has been having problems with her host sister.  I mean in public, they're fine.  At KTV, they seemed to have the cutest relationship ever.  But in private the sister gets creepy.  She follows Katie around constantly, typically uncomfortably close, and watches.  She's always watching.  Katie said there have been a couple times when this girl would stare into the bathroom.  She also leaves notes all over the apartment and all over Katie's things.  I saw one Wednesday when Katie and I were studying after school with He Lao Shi. It seemed perfectly innocent.  I just didn't know it was one of many.  Some of them were creepy too.  This morning, Katie got up, showered and when she got back, this girl was lying in her bed.  They have bunk beds so Katie also sees her host sister watching her sometimes when she sleeps.  As if all these things weren't enough, the host father speaks a different dialect, the grandmother can't control the girl and the mother is on a business trip.  Wei Lao Shi and He Lao Shi are trying to find a solution but there isn't really a family available. 

 

This is the part where I come in.  My apartment has four bedrooms: the parent's, Candy's, mine, and a study.  My host mother works at the school and had a conversation with Wei Lao Shi.  I don't know how it started, but Katie's situation was mentioned.   Suddenly at home, I'm getting a call from Wei Lao Shi asking if it would be alright if Katie moved in here.  We'd both have our own space and Candy is going to be thrilled at having another Mei Guo Sister.  Of course, I agreed.  I like Katie and no one should be stuck in a situation like that. Plus, Katie and I will be able to study together and she can help me with my speaking, as her skills in that area are much stronger than mine.  Nothing's approved yet.  It still needs to go through the American Councils Office in Washington DC, but I'm already looking forward to Katie moving in.  I've always had two sisters.  It only seems fitting that I would have two here as well. 

 

And just one last note for anyone thinking of studying abroad:  These situations are not common. And this is the first time Wei Lao Shi has ever had to switch anyone's host families (and she's been doing this a fairly long time). Everyone is carefully examined and these situations were things no one could have known about.  A secret smaller apartment, an allergic reaction and a kid who has always acted perfectly well behaved and normal around other people.  A lot of host families are like mine.  They genuinely care about the children's well being.  I know there are so many other kids on the program who absolutely adore their host families.  I'm really hoping that I'll be able to keep in touch with mine after this adventure is over.

 

Update: This night after dinner Katie came over.   She brought her stuff, which really wasn't all that much and officially moved in.  I wish I could say I was happy but now that she's here I'm overwhelmed.  Wei Lao Shi didn't want us to speak English to each other despite the fact that we live with the same family.  But because of that my host family has stopped speaking any and all English.  They also have completely changed the way we've been doing things for the last few weeks.  The worst part is I'm not sure it's because there's two of us now or if I've been doing something wrong the entire time.  Like they told me I had to wash my own clothes and they "taught" me how to use the machine, but now we have bags where we put our clothes for the day and they get washed that night. Luckily I did a lot of my laundry yesterday so I only have a few things that I found around my closet that aren't clean. I probably will sneak a load in when I'm home alone with Katie.

 

Most of all and this could just be the exhaustion talking, I feel like my family is going to like her more than they like me.  I mean she's this little bubbly person who can actually speak and understand Chinese.  I don't know how to compete with that.  Even Dian Dian seems to like her better.  I mean, it took Dian Dian forever to warm up to me and she just started playing with Katie automatically. 

 

Note from the future: This situation works out all right.  I'll have more news next post, but I don't have time now as I have an essay to write and a presentation to prepare.